Paying for the internet is for rich people, ignorant people, celebrities, and frat boys. Here I sit in the "Student Union" of my apartment complex... except there aren't drunk Sig Chis playing ping pong or slutty freshman crying about a break up...in front of everyone. There are only drunken old guys watching bsaeball in this student union. I work out in the gym downstairs but today is the first day I've ventured up the stairs. I'm not a particularly curious person. It stems from my general dislike of those who butt into other people's business. Uhhh anyway...
I found that list of things I wanted to blog about and they weren't really that interesting.
1. The kids smash up Smarties and smoke them. I'm not really sure what I was planning to say about that because, quite frankily, it makes no sense to me.
2. Car getting towed...CHECK
Ummm, I found the list but I don't have it here... so the mystery continues.
I registered to vote last week. Yay America! I would be more excited if I even knew anything about the people I'm going to vote for. I'm thinking of subscribing to the local paper but only after I get my REAL SIMPLE subscription. I care more about what's in there.
I spent my Sunday reading the Bible to catch up in Bible Study. (I finished Acts.)
I watched all three Lord of the Rings because I'm a P-I-M-P pimp.
I baked a cookie/cake/bread pudding/thing. Basically, I took cookie dough, put one layer down, spread fudge toping, added another layer, and them I poured cream on top. This is how I bake. Noooo rational decisions what-so-ever. How did it turn out you ask? DELICIOUS. How? It's hard to say...
The HIGHLIGHT, however, was the epic assembly line of the REAL SIMPLE recipies I cut out and put onto index cards with pictures of the food on each card. Pause for reaction. I'm a real girl now.
I have this vision of a binder with those transparent things people use for baseball cards or something stupid like that but with RECIPIES. Imagine. I can have pictures of all the food, lists of things I would have to get from the grocery store. I could move things around to plan meals that feature similar ingrediants as to limit excessive shopping before meals... THEN I could be on Top Chef America and make a bazillion dollars doing something every person with a brain can figure out how to do but only few people have decided to make a living doing. THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THAT ARE BETTER AT COOKING THAN EVERYONE ELSE THAT TRIES ARE Gracie Lou, Alice Arnn, Debbie Treiber, Jackie Argyle, and Bonnie Buchhop. No one else really has business claiming to have "mastered" any form of cooking. These people feed me for free, therefore, all other "chefs" are useless.
My idea for the best cook book in the world really only has merit in a married situation. Thus, I have plenty of time to create this mater piece. I would like to say that all chick flicks which feature single women making these fancy meals and desserts for themselves are full of shit. I can eat popcorn and carry on with my life. Those REAL SIMPLE recipies all serve 4. I am one. It will be years before I am 4. Also, you don't even get to make meals for 4 unless you are a 2 and you are eating with a couple. I am not a 2. I don't cook for 4. The only plus side to the extra 3 servings is that I am so uninterested in what I eat daily that eating the same thing 4 meals in a row wouldn't really bother me too much. It's just food. Yes people who make millions in the food industry. It's JUST food.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Pretend I wrote this on NOT Sunday, Oct. 16...
I am incredibly awesome at single person finances. It's my money and I need it now... wait, I mean I earn it and my needs are all it is good for. Yeah. At some point in the future I will have to ask my Husband-face if it's okay to spend money on all things Banana Republic, Gap, and Target. HOWEVER, there is noo husband-face so my money remains green and spendable. THAT being said, I put away money this month and last month into my savings. This is because bad things can happen to good people. This good people had a bad thing happen to her.
Apparently I live in the most classy of apartment places. So classy in fact that Hillsdale College security has a better system for keeping track of registered vehicles on campus. I forgot to put my hang tag in my window when I parked one evening. My fault? Yes. The events unfolding from this simple act of forgetfulness are truly shocking and stupid (not including the first stupid thing I did.)
Good morning! Shower. Dress for work. Shoes. Keys. Lock door. Smile at mountains... Wait. I can see right through my car... Where's my car? Jeep? Awesome. CUSS CUSS CUSS. Small tear. CUSS. Thank you apartment complex for towing my Jeep. There are always 9 open spaces by our building but sure tow my car which is there every night with the licence plate that is registered with the apartment complex. By all means steal my car. I don't have anything important to do besides educate children of a similar socioeconomic situation as the person who most likely towed my car but whatever. No big deal. It's just a full day of educating and enriching the lives of youngsters.
HILLSDALE-FREAKING-COLLEGE has managed to figure out that cars registered with security receive tickets and all other vehicles get towed... I can't even continue on this path because I'm going to end up slapping the next 8 people I see in the face.
Anyway, my friend left work to come get me and I went the whole day super excited to find out where the heck they took my car and how much it was going to cost to get it back. Hooray!
Well guess what? They towed my car to a crap-tastic place in the middle of no where on the south side and they wanted $200 CASH. That screams legal, trustworthy, and courteous. Here's where that money I put away comes in handy...except my wallet was in the car when they stole it... I mean towed it from the premises. Joy. Once again my friend comes to the rescue and we acquire some funds.
Hello kind people of the towing place, may I have my car back?
NO.
My name is on literally NOTHING that has to do with this car. Not the registration. Not the insurance. Nothing. Awesome. Do I panic? No. Oh wait, I cried a little. Then I didn't panic. When all else fails you call mom and she calls Tom and they call him...and this almost doesn't help. Tom tells them the Jeep is a 1996 (actually it's a 2002) and he has no idea what the licence plate number is. (Tom: "Where are they keeping her car? Moscow?) WINNING. They give up and just let me have the car. This is all after the lady explains that it would be impossible for the apartment complex to keep a record of all the plates affiliated with the residents. Oh. I'm sorry. You're right. Hillsdale College can but not your professional organization. I'm friends with most of the security guys at Hillsdale from the past 4 years and I am now confident in saying that they are smarter than the people I write a massive check to every month. You know who you are. Pat yourselves on the back.
Bye-bye giant chunk of emergency fund. I will miss you.
Apparently I live in the most classy of apartment places. So classy in fact that Hillsdale College security has a better system for keeping track of registered vehicles on campus. I forgot to put my hang tag in my window when I parked one evening. My fault? Yes. The events unfolding from this simple act of forgetfulness are truly shocking and stupid (not including the first stupid thing I did.)
Good morning! Shower. Dress for work. Shoes. Keys. Lock door. Smile at mountains... Wait. I can see right through my car... Where's my car? Jeep? Awesome. CUSS CUSS CUSS. Small tear. CUSS. Thank you apartment complex for towing my Jeep. There are always 9 open spaces by our building but sure tow my car which is there every night with the licence plate that is registered with the apartment complex. By all means steal my car. I don't have anything important to do besides educate children of a similar socioeconomic situation as the person who most likely towed my car but whatever. No big deal. It's just a full day of educating and enriching the lives of youngsters.
HILLSDALE-FREAKING-COLLEGE has managed to figure out that cars registered with security receive tickets and all other vehicles get towed... I can't even continue on this path because I'm going to end up slapping the next 8 people I see in the face.
Anyway, my friend left work to come get me and I went the whole day super excited to find out where the heck they took my car and how much it was going to cost to get it back. Hooray!
Well guess what? They towed my car to a crap-tastic place in the middle of no where on the south side and they wanted $200 CASH. That screams legal, trustworthy, and courteous. Here's where that money I put away comes in handy...except my wallet was in the car when they stole it... I mean towed it from the premises. Joy. Once again my friend comes to the rescue and we acquire some funds.
Hello kind people of the towing place, may I have my car back?
NO.
My name is on literally NOTHING that has to do with this car. Not the registration. Not the insurance. Nothing. Awesome. Do I panic? No. Oh wait, I cried a little. Then I didn't panic. When all else fails you call mom and she calls Tom and they call him...and this almost doesn't help. Tom tells them the Jeep is a 1996 (actually it's a 2002) and he has no idea what the licence plate number is. (Tom: "Where are they keeping her car? Moscow?) WINNING. They give up and just let me have the car. This is all after the lady explains that it would be impossible for the apartment complex to keep a record of all the plates affiliated with the residents. Oh. I'm sorry. You're right. Hillsdale College can but not your professional organization. I'm friends with most of the security guys at Hillsdale from the past 4 years and I am now confident in saying that they are smarter than the people I write a massive check to every month. You know who you are. Pat yourselves on the back.
Bye-bye giant chunk of emergency fund. I will miss you.
You need the internet to play this game...
Greetings one and everyone. Once upon a time I started blogging then I took a vacation because... well I don't have the Internet at home. Somewhere (that is not here) I have a list of things I wanted to write about. I can't remember most of them so here are some things, that are not those things, to read about.
The radio station I listen to often refers to car accidents as if they are epic, planned battles between different forms of vehicles which basically forces me to conclude that Transformers are involved.
Examples:
"Avoid north Powers between Random St. and Arbitrarily Named Blvd. as there is slowing 'curiosity' traffic from a car vs. motorcycle accident..." (I believe that particular curiosity is rooted in the desire to avoid hitting the people involved and debris... curiosity may not be a choice word there. I suggest that "courtious" or possibly "responsible" slowing is more fitting.)
"We are seeing general clogging on A Street That Serves in My Example and Drive-by Lane as crews work to clear a car vs. street sweeper accident..." (TRUE STORY)
How can you listen to that and not imagine a couple of Transformers dueling it out on the streets of Co Springs. It's hard to say... Do you really think the people driving those vehicles are thinking, "Oh look, a fellow wheeled transportation vessel. I don't like the way that thing is obeying the rules of the road and using its turn signals. How dare you politely inform me that you are turning soon but are cautiously assessing your surroundings before proceeding to the turn lane. BATTLE ME you upstanding citizen of the United States!!! We shall use guard rails and other cars as boundary lines. No touching of the passengers or poorly done pin striping." No. No, that is not how those kinds of things go down. They use those terms because Autobots are hard at work defending our planet from Deceptacons. I saw all three movies and I know that when humans are in danger Autobots are always there to defend Truth, Justice, and the Shia LaBeouf way. This is the reality we live in. I'm sorry I'm not sorry that I understand the facts and the language radio personalities use. They think that because they are on the radio and no one can see them that I can't intuit the air quotes that accompany the word "accident". Did they mean for me to interpret? It's hard to say...
Ummm in the interest of appearing very good at blogging I will end this one and probably write another one.
The radio station I listen to often refers to car accidents as if they are epic, planned battles between different forms of vehicles which basically forces me to conclude that Transformers are involved.
Examples:
"Avoid north Powers between Random St. and Arbitrarily Named Blvd. as there is slowing 'curiosity' traffic from a car vs. motorcycle accident..." (I believe that particular curiosity is rooted in the desire to avoid hitting the people involved and debris... curiosity may not be a choice word there. I suggest that "courtious" or possibly "responsible" slowing is more fitting.)
"We are seeing general clogging on A Street That Serves in My Example and Drive-by Lane as crews work to clear a car vs. street sweeper accident..." (TRUE STORY)
How can you listen to that and not imagine a couple of Transformers dueling it out on the streets of Co Springs. It's hard to say... Do you really think the people driving those vehicles are thinking, "Oh look, a fellow wheeled transportation vessel. I don't like the way that thing is obeying the rules of the road and using its turn signals. How dare you politely inform me that you are turning soon but are cautiously assessing your surroundings before proceeding to the turn lane. BATTLE ME you upstanding citizen of the United States!!! We shall use guard rails and other cars as boundary lines. No touching of the passengers or poorly done pin striping." No. No, that is not how those kinds of things go down. They use those terms because Autobots are hard at work defending our planet from Deceptacons. I saw all three movies and I know that when humans are in danger Autobots are always there to defend Truth, Justice, and the Shia LaBeouf way. This is the reality we live in. I'm sorry I'm not sorry that I understand the facts and the language radio personalities use. They think that because they are on the radio and no one can see them that I can't intuit the air quotes that accompany the word "accident". Did they mean for me to interpret? It's hard to say...
Ummm in the interest of appearing very good at blogging I will end this one and probably write another one.
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