Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Radioactive...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPBbMbKSZrQ&ob=av2e
Here's a link to Kings Of Leon - Radioactive

Listen on one tab and read on another. Multitask for a brief moment. Good luck. I believe in you.

I started writing this blog because I moved away. Last Saturday, while driving through Hillsdale for the first time in three months I started to get emotional about our macaroni and cheese colored movie theater, our "highway" dotted with fast food restaurants, Walmart, the penguin jumping over an igloo Christmas light on the court house lawn... We have nice things here. Seriously, we have a beautiful Christmas set up which starts at one end of the town and continues to the other. Also, I made a list of about thirteen places I needed to eat before I left. Turns out, I care about this town.
IN ADDITION to the restaurants, my family lives here (angels are singing)!!!

My favorite part about being home is the total lack of decisions I have made while here. No cooking, buying of groceries, showering, going to work (yes, I count this as a decision some mornings), locking doors, locking car doors, wearing heels or flats, choosing a route to work based on time and highway traffic tendencies...
I think the biggest decision I made was about the pattern in a scarf I'm knitting... I guess I had to choose the yearn too.

Adulthood is essentially defined (according to me) as the phase in life during which your actions and reactions start to bear significant weight. I suppose I've been in this phase for a while, but I used to really suck at it. Moment of silence for the days of old... AND NOW take a moment to consider how much better you are at making decisions. Let us now join hands across space and time. I shake you warmly by the hand. We are now winning.

Back to the music you are by now jamming to for the second time (or youtube a Beastie Boys song... LONG LIVE MIKE D). I went running on Monday with some ear muff/head phones my Momma bought me for Christmas. It was sunny, the altitude is low so I didn't feel like my lungs were bleeding, the roads were clear, and that song came on. There are a select few people in this world that smile from ear to ear while running. I was one of those people for a brief moment. I miss it here, but at the same time I was tickled with thoughts of how happy I am in Colorado. The nice thing about leaving is that I can come home and see all of my favorite people, during my favorite time of year, and my life in Colorado still exists. There is no expiration date. I am making a choice to go back there are be really, really happy! Being here reminds me of God's grace. It reminds me of my family, bad choices, better choices, possibilities, my friends, my past, the future, SENTIMENTAL THINGS TO SAY.
However, I truly do mean it.

The best thing a person can do is move away from home, miss it like crazy, and be really, really happy making tough life choices in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I don't like ghosts. I don't respond well to spooky behavior...

Opening remarks - For those of you who read and enjoy this blog: thank you. I try hard to verbalize some of the ping pong ball thoughts in my brain without throwing too much "ME. ME. ME" into it... but if you've ever met me, you know I can occasionally (more often than I'd like to admit) get a little "ME. ME. ME." That being said, this one may turn out to be seasoned with a little "ME." Actually, that's exactly what's about to happen.


I'm fully aware that I'm not old enough to wish certain chunks of my life had never happened. On the other hand there aren't really enough years under my belt to compensate for some of the things I wish were not so. I'm not talking about getting dumped, crying over a boy, tramping around (there's some honesty for you), or some of the other things my dearest friends witnessed over the last four years of my life...which amounts to 18% of the entire thing . I'm talking about the time I wasted, more specifically, the way in which I wasted it. More than anything else I'm ashamed of the number of times I ignored the brightly colored, highly illuminated, rather large, imposing, obvious life rafts thrown to me in the midst of the storm. Boo hoo... blah blah blah.

I think I've gathered in the last year or so that everyone gets kicked in the ass, dropped on their face, left in the dark drowning in a vast sea of self pity. Most of the people I know, even the ones you'd least expect, have done something they regret, said something they didn't mean, compromised their morals, lied and cheated, and even ignored Grace. I'm here to admit that I find comfort in their imperfections. Note: I am not saying I feel better about myself because they screwed up too, but it does help to ease the burden of guilt.

I once had a lengthy conversation with Momma about "Guilt vs. Shame". I completely forgot all about this conversation until last night when I was in the middle of piling the kindling for a BIG OL' GUILT bonfire in my (at the described moment) lonely living room. I called Mom and she reminded me about that conversation and a whole host of other divinely inspired things I have learned in an effort to get back to God.
SIDENOTE: Luna tells Harry that she believe Voldemort would like Harry to feel alone, "because if it's just you, you're not as much of a threat". Well I believe the Devil works much in the same way. Loneliness is like gasoline to his flame... I was preparing to use it for mine as well.

ANYWHO, this conversation basically centered on the idea that we are ALL going to fuck up. We will. You have. Don't try to get away from it. The thing that really gets Christians, I think, is that we are fully aware that our sorrow is rooted in our rebellion against God.

Here's a random, TOOOTALLY non-personal example: "Oh, that's your plan. Well I think it could be better if I snuck around behind every one's back with my ex-boyfriend and just kept lying and sinning. I just feel like that's a great plan annnnnnd I'm gonna go with that one. Thanks for the Biblical wisdom and your omnipotence. You've been great. I'll handle this one."

Whether you'd like to admit it or not, you've had a similar conversation yourself.
This knowledge, the TRUTH is the thing that starts to eat away at your soul. The Devil jumps in, sees this "self imposed separation and loathing", and says, "Hell yeah. Let's go to work!"
"God couldn't love you. You're guilty. You've said it yourself. You're not good for anyone."
GUILT.

Shame, however, is your best friend. If we didn't feel shame than we would continue to waltz around doing whatever we please. There wouldn't be room in your heart for Jesus or the Holy Spirit because you're "all good all the time". Or if not that, you'd be living in a small white room rocking back and forth totally hating yourself (guilt). SHAME. It's your friend.

The title comes from an SNL skit with Christopher Walkin. I myself don't respond well to ghosts of the past. I haven't quite figured out how to shoo those away. I'm human. Give me some time.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I'm giving a math test right NOW...

Yes. I am blogging during my 3rd period math class. They aren't asking questions. I already wrote the quiz for my science class. I don't have to justify myself to you.

Topic of discussion today: How working in the Production Mail Room at Hillsdale College makes me qualified for this job.

Do you have any idea how many times a day I staple things? HMMMM?!?!? Many times. Also, when I make photocopies I have to hand collate papers and it's just a good thing I learned how to do that 5x the speed of a regular human while working in the basement of ...The President's building... totally forgot what it's called. Anyway, before someone taught me that you can print to the copier and it will collate and staple for you, I basically spent part of my planning periods (I'm down to one now) doing "mail room things".

Here's a brilliant correlation for you, while we are on the topic of office supplies and on goings, paperclips are the bobby pins of the office. Where do they all go? I started the year with a big box of JUMBO paperclips and I'm down to like 4.5 (one is broken and only useful for getting jammed staples out of the stapler).

When I put on my resume that I worked in the mail room during college I really had no idea it would actually help me in the future. Long story short, go to college so you can work in a mail room and win at life.

MOSS! MOSS HALL! The President works in Moss Hall.

In exactly 2 days I will start my month long count down to my plane ride HOME for Christmas/Blue Motorcycles at the Forino Home!! So excited!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Snooooow Daaaay! And other things that I care about...

I had a snow day last Wednesday. You can be jealous of me and choose to either stop reading now, or you can remember that I also get summers off and THEN stop reading.

I spent the majority of the day knitting and watching Christmas movies. I have this thing about the clay-mation movies... most people don't like them. Most people are ignorant. How could you dislike stories about tiny, mythical creatures made of clay, living in the North Pole? It's hard to say...
I suppose there are puppy haters and criminals in this world. Yes, I am equating the three.

Other important things that are going on or have come to pass:

- I FINALLY committed to brown leather boots today. I bought a pair of Steve Madden knee high boots at exactly 2:47 pm. I would venture to say the only other thing I have spent more time in the pursuit of is our Lord. You can't just buy boots. First of all, other people may not be able to tell or care, but it bothers me when people wear fake leather anything. Take a moment to forgive my snobery. BUT SERIOUSLY, leather comes from cows, God made it, not a single person in this world can make a synthetic leather that looks or smells like the real thing. Also, if you're going to invest in something why on earth would you invest in a fake? I feel like that's just smart investing. Does this mean that if you can't afford real leather you shouldn't even buy a knock off? YES! One thousand times yes! Save your money and buy the real thing. It's leather. Cows wear it for SKIN. It's going to last for a very long time.

- Jasmine Mays and I are writing a children's book about a T-Rex and a Squirrel. Their names are Trek and Ace, respectively. I JUST NOW sent her my contribution to the beginning chapters. You may laugh and smile at our "pipe dream" but I have a few words for you in our defense.
J.K. Rowling... BOOOOOOM! Suck it Trebek! I would estimate I've spent enough time in Starbucks in the last three months to have cranked out my own Harry Potter series. Furthermore, Jasmine Mays and I may not be single mothers in England but we are track athletes... which counts for... well it makes us... ummm... we should at least have more time on our hands than she did and we are in better shape. This makes us smarter. If you don't follow that logic, then that's only proving my point about our intelligence... I think.

- I have the best 5th period math class in the history of the world (or at least the history of 8th grade girl, math classes). Instead of having a boring lesson on Friday I hosted an episode of the Oprah show and held a kart wheel contest. My special guest was a girl who is exceptionally talented at reading page numbers and reminding her classmates about the page number. I lost the kart wheel contest. Jeans and Sperry's do not equal a leotard and chalked hands. Epic fail. They had fun :)

- I ate Taco Bell on Friday. I haven't eaten Taco Bell since  I was drunk in Hillsdale with Justin and Lisa. I kind of felt like I had dysentery. It's possible that I did. It's hard to say...

- After the Taco Bell, I went to a Christmas Luau at the school. Holy Moly! I've never been to a Luau before. I regret that I do not posess the skills to fully explain how impressed I was with these kids. Four little boys did the Hakka from Samoa... I kind of wanted to cry. They were really intimidating. As for the girls, Shakira looks like trash compared to one of my students that dances in the group. I am proud to say that she is a member of the "Wonder Triplets" (Myself, Kera, and Fasscena). Two of my favorite students and I became the Wonder Triplets a few Tuesdays ago and the name stuck. I kind of like my job :)

TaTa for now.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I found that list... nothing on there was very interesting.

Paying for the internet is for rich people, ignorant people, celebrities, and frat boys. Here I sit in the "Student Union" of my apartment complex... except there aren't drunk Sig Chis playing ping pong or slutty freshman crying about a break up...in front of everyone. There are only drunken old guys watching bsaeball in this student union. I work out in the gym downstairs but today is the first day I've ventured up the stairs. I'm not a particularly curious person. It stems from my general dislike of those who butt into other people's business. Uhhh anyway...

I found that list of things I wanted to blog about and they weren't really that interesting.

1. The kids smash up Smarties and smoke them. I'm not really sure what I was planning to say about that because, quite frankily, it makes no sense to me.

2. Car getting towed...CHECK

Ummm, I found the list but I don't have it here... so the mystery continues.

I registered to vote last week. Yay America! I would be more excited if I even knew anything about the people I'm going to vote for. I'm thinking of subscribing to the local paper but only after I get my REAL SIMPLE subscription. I care more about what's in there.

I spent my Sunday reading the Bible to catch up in Bible Study. (I finished Acts.)
I watched all three Lord of the Rings because I'm a P-I-M-P pimp.
I baked a cookie/cake/bread pudding/thing. Basically, I took cookie dough, put one layer down, spread fudge toping, added another layer, and them I poured cream on top. This is how I bake. Noooo rational decisions what-so-ever. How did it turn out you ask? DELICIOUS. How? It's hard to say...
The HIGHLIGHT, however, was the epic assembly line of the REAL SIMPLE recipies I cut out and put onto index cards with pictures of the food on each card. Pause for reaction. I'm a real girl now.

I have this vision of a binder with those transparent things people use for baseball cards or something stupid like that but with RECIPIES. Imagine. I can have pictures of all the food, lists of things I would have to get from the grocery store. I could move things around to plan meals that feature similar ingrediants as to limit excessive shopping before meals... THEN I could be on Top Chef America and make a bazillion dollars doing something every person with a brain can figure out how to do but only few people have decided to make a living doing. THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THAT ARE BETTER AT COOKING THAN EVERYONE ELSE THAT TRIES ARE Gracie Lou, Alice Arnn, Debbie Treiber, Jackie Argyle, and Bonnie Buchhop. No one else really has business claiming to have "mastered" any form of cooking. These people feed me for free, therefore, all other "chefs" are useless.

My idea for the best cook book in the world really only has merit in a married situation. Thus, I have plenty of time to create this mater piece. I would like to say that all chick flicks which feature single women making these fancy meals and desserts for themselves are full of shit. I can eat popcorn and carry on with my life. Those REAL SIMPLE recipies all serve 4. I am one. It will be years before I am 4. Also, you don't even get to make meals for 4 unless you are a 2 and you are eating with a couple. I am not a 2. I don't cook for 4. The only plus side to the extra 3 servings is that I am so uninterested in what I eat daily that eating the same thing 4 meals in a row wouldn't really bother me too much. It's just food. Yes people who make millions in the food industry. It's JUST food.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Pretend I wrote this on NOT Sunday, Oct. 16...

I am incredibly awesome at single person finances. It's my money and I need it now... wait, I mean I earn it and my needs are all it is good for. Yeah. At some point in the future I will have to ask my Husband-face if it's okay to spend money on all things Banana Republic, Gap, and Target. HOWEVER, there is noo husband-face so my money remains green and spendable. THAT being said, I put away money this month and last month into my savings. This is because bad things can happen to good people. This good people had a bad thing happen to her.

Apparently I live in the most classy of apartment places. So classy in fact that Hillsdale College security has a better system for keeping track of registered vehicles on campus. I forgot to put my hang tag in my window when I parked one evening. My fault? Yes. The events unfolding from this simple act of forgetfulness are truly shocking and stupid (not including the first stupid thing I did.)

Good morning! Shower. Dress for work. Shoes. Keys. Lock door. Smile at mountains... Wait. I can see right through my car... Where's my car? Jeep? Awesome. CUSS CUSS CUSS. Small tear. CUSS. Thank you apartment complex for towing my Jeep. There are always 9 open spaces by our building but sure tow my car which is there every night with the licence plate that is registered with the apartment complex. By all means steal my car. I don't have anything important to do besides educate children of a similar socioeconomic situation as the person who most likely towed my car but whatever. No big deal. It's just a full day of educating and enriching the lives of youngsters.
HILLSDALE-FREAKING-COLLEGE has managed to figure out that cars registered with security receive tickets and all other vehicles get towed... I can't even continue on this path because I'm going to end up slapping the next 8 people I see in the face.

Anyway, my friend left work to come get me and I went the whole day super excited to find out where the heck they took my car and how much it was going to cost to get it back. Hooray!
Well guess what? They towed my car to a crap-tastic place in the middle of no where on the south side and they wanted $200 CASH. That screams legal, trustworthy, and courteous. Here's where that money I put away comes in handy...except my wallet was in the car when they stole it... I mean towed it from the premises. Joy. Once again my friend comes to the rescue and we acquire some funds.

Hello kind people of the towing place, may I have my car back?
NO.
My name is on literally NOTHING that has to do with this car. Not the registration. Not the insurance. Nothing. Awesome. Do I panic? No. Oh wait, I cried a little. Then I didn't panic. When all else fails you call mom and she calls Tom and they call him...and this almost doesn't help. Tom tells them the Jeep is a 1996 (actually it's a 2002) and he has no idea what the licence plate number is. (Tom: "Where are they keeping her car? Moscow?) WINNING. They give up and just let me have the car. This is all after the lady explains that it would be impossible for the apartment complex to keep a record of all the plates affiliated with the residents. Oh. I'm sorry. You're right. Hillsdale College can but not your professional organization. I'm friends with most of the security guys at Hillsdale from the past 4 years and I am now confident in saying that they are smarter than the people I write a massive check to every month. You know who you are. Pat yourselves on the back.

Bye-bye giant chunk of emergency fund. I will miss you.

You need the internet to play this game...

Greetings one and everyone. Once upon a time I started blogging then I took a vacation because... well I don't have the Internet at home. Somewhere (that is not here) I have a list of things I wanted to write about. I can't remember most of them so here are some things, that are not those things, to read about.

The radio station I listen to often refers to car accidents as if they are epic, planned battles between different forms of vehicles which basically forces me to conclude that Transformers are involved.
Examples:
"Avoid north Powers between Random St. and Arbitrarily Named Blvd. as there is slowing 'curiosity' traffic from a car vs. motorcycle accident..." (I believe that particular curiosity is rooted in the desire to avoid hitting the people involved and debris... curiosity may not be a choice word there. I suggest that "courtious" or possibly "responsible" slowing is more fitting.)
"We are seeing general clogging on A Street That Serves in My Example and Drive-by Lane as crews work to clear a car vs. street sweeper accident..." (TRUE STORY)

How can you listen to that and not imagine a couple of Transformers dueling it out on the streets of Co Springs. It's hard to say... Do you really think the people driving those vehicles are thinking, "Oh look, a fellow wheeled transportation vessel. I don't like the way that thing is obeying the rules of the road and using its turn signals. How dare you politely inform me that you are turning soon but are cautiously assessing your surroundings before proceeding to the turn lane. BATTLE ME you upstanding citizen of the United States!!! We shall use guard rails and other cars as boundary lines. No touching of the passengers or poorly done pin striping." No. No, that is not how those kinds of things go down. They use those terms because Autobots are hard at work defending our planet from Deceptacons. I saw all three movies and I know that when humans are in danger Autobots are always there to defend Truth, Justice, and the Shia LaBeouf way. This is the reality we live in. I'm sorry I'm not sorry that I understand the facts and the language radio personalities use. They think that because they are on the radio and no one can see them that I can't intuit the air quotes that accompany the word "accident". Did they mean for me to interpret? It's hard to say...

Ummm in the interest of appearing very good at blogging I will end this one and probably write another one.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

This post brought to you by the letter "S" and the other letters "tarbucks"...

Sooo there are roughly 19,000,000,000 things to think about and take care of when you move and live by yourself. It will please my family to know that I am eating more than soup and granola bars these days. Not a whole lot more, but as much food as I feel I can afford.

I have a couch, a bed, and two shelves I built using only a Swiss Army knife. Other than that the digs are kind of empty. I can't seem to spend enough time at the Target 1 mile down the road though so I feel it shouldn't take long to deal with that problem. Also, there is this magical place called Gordman's that basically completes me but only in that it is like a clean Marshall's and TJ Max. I bought a little gold elephant for my living room :) His name is Harold and we watched 3 hours of Shark Week DVDs this morning. A candle sits on his back and I was so excited to light it last night when I realized I don't own a lighter. Problem. I promised myself I wouldn't go to Target again until today so I plan to go when I'm done at Starbucks.

One of my shelves holds a few pairs of shoes in little cubbies and then there's a shelf for books and magazines. It sits by the front door against a wall I put an adorable decal I found at ... TARGET :) It has all these little brown birdies sitting on telephone wires and then I put other little birdies on the light switch and one in the kitchen. YAY! Those are my main "decorational" achievements thus far.

Teaching is fun and I really love the people I work with even since the last time I posted. I am teaching the 8th grade boys science class a unit on astronomy. Everyday in class I make three little boys pretend to be the sun, earth, and moon. It's kind of fun watching the moon and earth get really dizzy. Does that make me a bad person? It's hard to say...

I am currently sporting a rather nasty bruise on my right bicep after getting into a bit of a pickle at the post office. For those of you reading this that recieve a letter in the near future, know that I went through this for you.
So...Once upon a time on Thursday, I need to buy a speacial stamp for a card I mailed to a certain African-American friend of mine who lived on Mead Street and Howder and ran Track. I decided not to wear my jacket into the post office so I took it off and jumped out of the car. "Slam" (I need to lock the door now...oh it's already locked...where are my keys?...Oh hell...). Luckily (or so I thought) I had rolled down my window slightly so I decided to reach in and unlock it myself. This resulted in an epic display of athleticism as I climbed up the side of my car, then tried standing on my tip toes, waving my arm around inside of the car, and then realizing this wasn't going to happen. (Oh well. I'll figure something out. I'll just go into the...what the hell...my elbow is stuck... this really hurts...CALF CRAAAAAAMP!!... I'm bruising...I'm loosing circulation...) HELP! HELP! No one even looked twice at me. I concluded that I would have to break my own elbow to get out because no one would even help me to do that. SOME PEOPLE! Needless to say it took me 3 minutes to free my arm.

.....Oh. What happened next you ask? How did I get my keys out? Well that story is almost as awesome as the one I already told. I went into the post office and when I came out I waited on the back bumper of may car to scout out the people pulling into the parking lot. I waited and judged people until I found a tall, skinny person. I can't even explain to you how PISSED I was that Clara and Michael didn't come to the post office in Colorado Springs to help me. I was irrationally angry that the world's tallest, fittest, and most attractive couple was not there to rescue me. I have one word for the pair of you...USELESS....  oh and I will add...ASSHOLE. I mean that in a nice way now but NOT THEN. See if I'm around the next time they need an average heighted, small handed, teacher to do something for them. DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO CALL....but seriously if you guys want to Skpe or call sometime that would be great :)
ANYWHO, I settled on this skinnier, tall guy who drove up in a white van. He was covered in paint and it didn't take me very long to figure out he did speak English very well. All in all I felt like this was an extrememly safe and well thought out decision. No. Not really. I asked him if he would help me break into my car using a lot of hand getures and I smiled a bunch. He reached his hand in and pulled up on the lock. As soon as he did this the alarm went off, which I knew would happen but he had no clue. "I sorry! So sorry! I...I..." "K-bye :)" And I drove off.

Other things have happened too but there's just too much to say. Hopefully I will frequent Starbucks more often or shell out the cash for internet...maybe next month. Ta-ta!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Mostly I'm coming home to charge my toothbrush...

OKAY. It's not as though I have been away from home for a super long time but I am sort of well... I'm in love with my people at home. I don't even think Love is a strong enough word or at least I truly mean it in the way that it is intended to be used. Not in an over used, "I super love my new cell phone and this gum wrapper I found on the floor" kind of way that people use it. I mean I love them. That's all I have to say. No adjectives. No smilies. No exclamation points. Love.

I started to think about all of the reasons I am so excited to go home for a grand total of 32 hours. I realized that I am going to be able to see almost all of the people I am dying to see in that period of time save a few siblings and a handful of friends.

Also, my electric toothbrush must have a demon inside of it because I charged it before I left home like 3 weeks ago and it's still goin' strong. I stole this toothbrush from a certain family member who shall not be named...Let's call him...Step-guy... Thus I have no charger for it. I have been using another family member's charger...Let's call her...Not Emily, Mom, or Winnie... In short my toothbrush may need to spend some time charging while I'm home. So you can see how that is a great reason to be excited to go home as well.

ONE WORD: WINNIE! Enough said. How could such a dog win my heart... It is not hard to say. She is lazy, loves naps and food, she's beautiful, and loves Mom... We are quite similar.

What else... Oh. Today was the first day I had kids in my classroom. The beginning of the year has been weird and I'm not totally sure some of it hasnt' been a waste of time but I'm the new girl...literally, one of the other teachers calls me "New Girl" ALL the time, even in front of students. I'm the youngest employee by 4 years so there you go. The guy that calls me "New Girl" is nicknamed "Stegatron", therefore, he can be and is my friend. ANYWAY, the kids I had in my classroom were chatty 7th grade girls. I had to refocus one of them...Refocusing is what we have the kids do when they have ignored our first warning to stop a behavior. It works for the most part. This same little girl drew me a picture later in the day. No hard feelings. Kids are something else.

One of the things I was scheduled to "teach" the girls was a lesson on self-discipline. We talked about what we sometimes do when we don't exercise self-discipline. I got them talking about what happens when we're angry and what we should do so we don't do or say something we might regret. One little girl suggested that you spend some time alone or with your dog. Another little girl raised her hand and asked, "What if you try to spend time with your dog and it bites you in the face?" .......................................................................... Ummm.......................seriously............................................It's hard to say...
I looked her in the eye and said, "Your dog needs to Refocus."

I finally learned what classes I am teaching this year...today...exactly three days before academic classes start. THRILLING. It looks like I will be teaching the same level of math to a 7th grade class and two 8th grade classes as well as one 7th and one 8th grade science class.

ANNA AND WILLIE D are getting married on Saturday. That is my final note. They are both attractive so I can officially say I am excited for this union. Honestly though... they make each other completely and wonderfully happy which is a true blessing. Pray for them both, that they will grow fully in their love for the Lord together each and every day. I LOVE YOU, Anna :) I can't begin to list the ways you are so good for me and to me. Will is so lucky to have you and you him.

Friday, August 12, 2011

"Greetings one and everyone"... you'd get that if you were Em or Alice...

Ummm so I met students for the first time on Thursday... I sat at my desk for about 35 minutes repeating, "Gwendolyn Ann you are NOT going to cry!...there's no one here to hold you while you do it anyway..."

For the first four days of school my job is to instruct 7th and 8th grade students in team building games during their introductory PE period. I am not a PE teacher. While I enjoy the sounds of children playing I do not enjoy the sound of my own voice screaming over wrestling 8th grade boys, "DID I SAAAAAAY WRESTLING WAS PART OF THIS GAME! PUT DOWN THE CONE! Oh great, you punched him in the lip... be that as it may, accidents can still cause bloody lips. CASE AND POINT!"

At my school the teachers are supposed to use "teach-to's" to inform the students of our expectations before we set them out to preform a task. I panicked a bit on Thursday. There were no teach-to's. In short, I didn't really do a very good job. The kids had some fun... but it usually dissolved into, "Yeah. You can go to the bathroom...I guess...maybe one at a time? Whatever makes you happy..." The only game one group of 8th grade girls wanted to play was Duck, Duck, Goose. They played that for 20 minutes. I tried not to cry. Imagine if you will a room full of kids who are so super, duper, Justin-Bieber-excited to see each other again and here's a brand new teacher with a name they can't pronounce trying to tell them to PLEAASE play a fun game of tag and something to do with stealing cones and a few hula-hoops...

FRIDAY (today), however, was a magical day. There were no potty breaks because we are to pee during passing period. Everyone plays every game because it's what I said. I smiled. I gave directions. We played dodge ball. Apparently, children of all ages and races love to throw things at each other. Great! I will let you do that so I can drink coffee and smile at you. I loved it! I learned names, they had fun, we talked about integrity in sports and life. Basically everyone won today...mostly I won today.

I had a class of young 8th grade gentleman that could not follow directions, stand still, listen, or do really anything I asked them to do. I calmly asked them to sit down, listen to the directions again, and try again. This worked for mmmmm I wanna say -56 seconds. I simply told them that I had already played dodge ball three times today so it wasn't really a big deal to me if we all just sat down in silence until the end of the period. WOW. I emanated disappointment at the front of the class for an entire two and a half minutes. As soon as I asked them if they were ready to get it together I heard the most glorious sound I have ever heard in MY LIFE. "We're sorry" in unison with sad little looks and sincere puppy dog eyes. They were my most fun class to watch play dodge ball. They were fun and it was actually really exciting to watch the athletic kids "dodge" balls. I think that little situation saved my reputation. They even said thank you as they left. Why did this work? It's hard to say...

My theory is this, SHAME BASED CULTURES are the answer to our youth's attitudes today. 95% of students genuinely feel bad when you tell them you're disappointed. That's not so hard.

I am still totally in love with my job, the people I work with and now some of the students. HOOOORDAY DODGE BALL!!!


On a non-work based note, I helped one of my new pals pick up a couch she bought on Craig's list Tuesday night. Picture two girls driving around in a rented Home Depot pick-up, listening to ACDC, playing air guitar and drums, and making 7 point u-turns on two lane highways. YES. It happened. Yes I got a free couch out of it. Yes she is actually a 26-year old version of Heather L. I love her! So fun and so unexpected. I had no idea when ACDC came on and Breaking Benjamin that she would even stay on the station let alone sing every word :) So happy!

Still homeless. Still haven't hiked a mountain. Learning how to run  all the way up here. I decided I want to buy a kitten after Christmas. Thank you and Good night!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Poor neglected blog...

1st thing's first: I would like to thank my parents for the gift of life. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY :) Also, thank you for raising me in a loving home and pushing me to do well in school....

2nd thing: I LOVE MY JOB!! Everyone is caring, kind, helpful, dedicated, and just plain wonderful! On the very first day of work last week a fellow math teacher found out I was going to have to drive down from Dever to the school and immediately opened her home to me. I've been living here ever since and tonight she threw me a birthday party. On top of that people gave me presents at work and can over to "my house" for the party. I feel truely blessed by the Lord. I am under no delusion that all moves across country go like this. Once again I am reassured that the Lord sent me here for His purpose. I can't wait to find out what that is.

In short, my birthday has been GREAT :)

Not much has happened yet at work. The kids start next week so I've just been in training. I have learned so much in just a few short days... I've also drank more pop in the last few days then I have in the last few years.

Monday, August 1, 2011

NEVER underestimate the power of a $15 haircut...

I got a haircut. CUT off to give some emphasis on the nudity of my neck and shoulder regions. I am almost positive I left more there then I have now.

'Nother thing: If you want to feel motivated, then Google 212 (degree). CHARGER TRACK AND FIELD MEMBERS. DO IT! Be all you can be and more. The main principle is that water is hot at 211 degrees but boiling at 212 degrees (unless you are living in the mountains where I am then it's like 187 or something...life is easier out here). Boiling water produces steam and steam can power a train. There's a really sweet video and all these facts about the minuscule differences between winning an Olympic gold medal and no medal at all...like 0.nothing seconds in the women's 200m freestyle last year. DO NOT WATCH ANY OF THE YOUTUBE VIDEOS. I pre-screened them all and they are not the real thing and quite frankly ruin it. Watch this Nike video instead. I've been cramming this one down people's throats for years and I'm not going to stop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijTwZNUBhcI... My true love.

It makes you think how much better you could be at everything if you tried just that much harder all the time.

'Nother thing: Tomorrow is mandatory show day at school. The parents and students come in and I say, "Good day to you. I am an educator. You may call me 'Miss Buchhop'. *SMILE*" I'm not nervous. I will be nervous when I'm left alone in a room with my 8th grade boys science class. They can smell fear.

FINAL mind blowing, blog altering, proving-Joel-Reed-right thing: I CAN say, "It's hard to say..." to the students. We talked about "diffusers" today in teacher training. If a delightful, precocious child asks, "Who cares?" or "When will I ever use this?!?" I can just say, "It's hard to say..." and keep on teaching. HA! How do you like them apples?!?

(SIDENOTE: Best line ever from any move ever -- "Do you like apples?" "Yeah." "WELL I GOT HER NUMBER. How do you like them apples?" -- Matt Damon, "Good Will Hunting"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymsHLkB8u3s invest the 4-ish minutes in this so you can understand this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf0OFZexRGs . Great movie. Don't settle for just these clips.)

((DOUBLE SIDENOTE: A certain group of freshman happened upon one of those sites where you upload a picture of yourself and it tells you what celebrities you look like. This happened in the fall of 2007... Anyway. They or I may have uploaded a picture of me. The website gave each of the following answers a certain percentage of the time (sometimes more than one of these came up as viable face recognitions)... 65% of the time I look like Sandra Bullock, 45% of the time I look like Kate Bosworth, and 95% of the time it told me I look like Matt Damon ('Team America' drawl). Yes.
I am the dream of every teenage girl from the late 90's and early 2000's. How do you like them apples? How do I like them apples? It's hard to say...))

Best story of the day: A teacher was sharing what not to say when 8th grade boys are ruining your day. She was stepping in for another teacher and the boys said in the most respectful and kind tone, "WHO are you?" to which she replied, "Your worst nightmare." From the back of the classroom she heard, "No. My worst nightmare is getting my balls chopped off." She walked right over to him and whispered, "THAT can be arranged." Respect. Apparently you aren't supposed to say things like that. I think it was awesome.

Question: How does one get Hillsdale College to send you official transcripts? It's hard to say...
This one I am looking for a real answer to. Please and thank you.

Song suggestion: "Lola" by the Kinks. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Classic rock. I don't know where you have been but I am completely comfortable with blaming our distance on myself. I can do better. I will do better. I promise.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

I thought about the things I thought about...

Alrighty. We are going to spend some time answering previous question or at least offering some intelligent possible solutions.

On the topic of traveling across the nation on I-80: Grandma and I have decided that there should be a rewards program for people who drive instead of flying. It would be most like frequent flier miles. Free gas cards, coupons for free coffee, a hot meal at every rest stop, rest stops that ALWAYS have those toilet seat covers...

On the topic of home addresses: Whilst running yesterday I realized something that I assume is pretty trivial. I managed to solve this mystery so far as to give insight on the first two digits of an address in the city. Brace yourself because here comes some knowledge. The first two digits are the number of your block...Oooooooh. If you live between blocks 10 and 11 the first two digits of your address are... you can't guess it... you won't... don't even try... you can now drink from the fountain of my knowledge... here's a cup... the first two digits will be 1 and 0. If you live between those two blocks your address will be 10**. As for the other two digits I've got nothing. I tried. As someone who used to be able to get 15 pages from the end of a book and just put it down I am totally comfortable with putting this one to bed.

On the topic of Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) from 30 Rock: The real key to her coming around from those first few episodes is that they allowed her to have longer, curly hair. It suits her head better. This is where my fear of cutting my hair comes from. What if a long bob makes me look like Tina Fey from the first few episodes of 30 Rock?!?! What if it doesn't suit my head? It's hard to say....
DAMN! I raised another question...

Song suggestion for the day/week: Never forget about M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes". It played at 1up last night and Derek G. and I both agree that all people everywhere want to dance to that song. You should be one of those people. If I find out you didn't make guns with your hands and fake shoot them into the air you will be fired. If when the cash register machine sound comes on you don't reverse fist pump you will be fired. Fired from what I'm not sure but you will be fired.

Uh yep. Well that's all I have for today. I am currently homeless and I am transferring my homelessness to Manitou Springs which is an area of Co Springs. It's hard to say what the Internet situation will be so if you don't hear from me for a while that would be why. Even after that I don't plan on paying for Internet in my apartment so I will be posting after school from school. I think that's allowed because it will be after school. I hope so. I like Facebook. I would miss it. I don't have a problem admitting that.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Holy Driving-in-circles-around-Denver Batman!

Quick thought: If you find out that I did NOT go for a run on Saturday, July 30th, then you have to stop being my friend. I haven't really exercised in a month and this is not good.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way we can get onto the important stuff.

Question: If one throws a banana peel onto the highway should one expect Donkey Kong's Kart to spin out? It's hard to say... Or at least it was until I zoned out and imagined throwing my banana peel out the window on I-25 North. During this time I put my car on cruise control at 80 (the speed limit was 75) and pretended that I threw the peel onto the road. Suddenly a car honked and I heard tires squealing. "IT WORKED! IT WORKED! I'm going to win first place in the Star Cup! Sucks to suck DK!!!..." Whoa. Wait. Time out. I'm still holding this smelly 'nana peel and I am no longer in the far right lane...*thinking...thinking*.
HOLY DRIVING-WITH-MY-IMAGINATION-IMAGINING BATMAN! I totally cut someone off and they were speeding up next to me to express how disappointed there were in me with their middle finger. In conclusion, no matter how hard you imagine you're causing someone to get into an accident you can't... Oh wait. Yes. Imagining it apparently helps that to happen. Will it make it happen to Donkey Kong? It's hard to say...

Question: Get this! There is such a thing as a "Clear View" or "Clean View" DVD player. The name is neither here nor there. THE POINT is that this machine plays regular DVD's, however, it cleans them up? What does this mean? How can it do that? It's hard to say... I want to know how powerful this thing is. If I put in Gladiator will it bleeps out all of the bloody parts? If I'm watching 10 Things I Hate About You will I be able to watch it without Matt Miller blocking the screen and repeating, "Unsavory. Unsavory." If I wanted to watch a movie without any of the rated PG-13 or R parts I would start with Finding Nemo. The begging is way too sad and way to violent. Is this machine powerful enough to do that? It's hard to say... 

I'm sleepy. That is all.... OH YEEEAAAAAAH. The title is about how I got lost after I exited to Colorado Ave. and my GPS didn't work and I drove East instead of West and South instead of North and then I got trapped in a suburb and then I started crying and crying and crying and then I found the Highway. But I'm too tired to tell that story.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Long car rides are for little girls. They love them. They take them EVERYDAY!!

Today was a loooong day. I am living in Denver and I had to drive to Co Springs for work this morning. That's an hour and a half long drive. I thought work started at 7:00a.m. It started at 7:30a.m. I woke up at 4:30a.m. to get to work half an hour early. I drove to a Dunkin' Donuts and sang Clara's rendition of the theme song they don't have but she sings anyway. It goes a little something like this, "Ddddddduh ddddddd duh dddddd". I miss her.
The only thing that kept me sane for the entire day was that it was my first day of work and Pike's Peak greeted me as I entered the city. That will only be charming for one more day. Tomorrow is that day. I met and looked for apartments with a colleague today. Hopefully it will work out. I can't drive that far in the morning. I can't afford to live alone. I can't afford to spend my time after work talking to my goldfish. I can't be the lady with a cactus, Venus fly trap, aloe plant, and goldfish with no roommate. I can have those things if I have a roommate but only under that condition. Today I got a red binder and learned about how to teach middle school children. I really like all the new teachers who were there today. I can't wait to meet everyone else. These are tired person thoughts.

Question of the day: Where do I go to hangout with the Air Force guy I checked out for 10-35 minutes in the grocery store today? I had to open a new bank account out here because my Hillsdale bank is not bankie enough to provide its services in the West. This led me to the super market with a Chase inside of it in Co Springs. I said to myself, "This is classy. I'm classy. Oh, there goes a guy in an Air Force uniform and a flawless tan. He might even be 6'4". I should bank here. Classy! This decision is classy."

It's not to say that while the Chase guy was asking me about my move, new job, where I am planning on living and telling me where I can deposit my first born child if I over draft on my checking account I was staring out the window watching the Air Force guy walk by... but I was. Here in my new town I've decided that dressing nicely and embracing extended eye contact is the ticket to finding a man over 6'2". Eye contact is key with teaching middle school kids so if you think about it...even if you don't think about it you can take my word for it because I already thought about it... I am simply training for work. This makes me professional. In short, where do I met these uniformed men? It's hard to say... (It would be harder to say if I wasn't friends with some and once dated one. I think they might enjoy drinking. Where do people do that in public?!?!)

'Nother question: Should I get a hair cut? If so what should it look like? I want to get like a longer-ish bob type deal. You know where the back is shorter than the front and my hair is shiny and I never have to even try to make it look nice. That could be okay. It's hard to say...

Finally: It is shocking how terrible Tina Fey looks in the first couple episodes of 30 Rock. There's an episode where Jack thinks she is a lesbian and sets her up with his friend who is played by the actress who plays the DA on the old episodes of Law and Order: Special Victims. The blond who goes into protective services because someone tried to shoot her. She came out of protective services to help convict an Irish shooter called "the Ghost" after he shot and killed a little boys parents. He actually shot the little boy but he didnt' die. I think her name is Alex something on the show... It's hard to say...
ANYWAY, Tina is looking better these days. Good for her.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Capitol Hill in Denver, CO is Full of Mysterious Mysteries

Why do people put rags on string and decorate their front porches? They are literally everywhere here. Last time I checked...and believe me it was recent because I didn't know what the Colorado State flag looked like... there is no nation with a paisley covered flag or a state in the continental United States with a black and yellow striped flag. What are you representing? Are you in a gang? Are you a seriously misguided exterior decorator? Do you air dry your hankies? It's hard to say...

Question of the day: How are houses numbered along the street? If you ask me, and you are because you're reading this (mwah-haha), they should just be numbered 1, 2, 3,.... Whatever St. If it's an exceptionally large city block that is hardly an issue. We have numbers ranging from 1-10, 1-100, or even 1-1,000. Fancy! On the other hand if the block is small think about how fun it would be to have your home identified by the color of your front door! *PAUSE FOR REACTION*
I call blue with black and white polka dots. Blue on the sides and center strip of black with white dots on it. Imagine it and sense my genius.

All I'm saying is when I walk down the street and the numbers jump from 123 to 126 I can't figure out what's going on. Confused is not an attractive look on me. I'm going to be a math teacher and I simply can not justify that gap. Perhaps we are working in some Abstract Algebra modulo but I took that class... I did well... I think I understood it... I don't get address numbers. Who started this and who jumped to their side and said, "Well I think completely leaving out perfectly good whole numbers from our system is great. Good work. I hate the combination of 7 and 3 so let's just rule any of those out RIGHT NOW." How does that work? It's hard to say...

Let's all just step up and take a page out of Albus Dumbledore's book (may he rest in peace) and send owls straight to each other's cupboard under the stairs.

Speaking of birds...and I am (keep up)... I fed some birds a bit of my biscuit at breakfast this morning and they were greedy little guys. When you are stealing chunks of biscuit that are too heavy for you to fly with you may want to evaluate your life. This didn't even happen once. This one fella came back twice. He looked me straight in the eye and blinked Morse code, "I know you have homemade jam and apple butter up there. Stingy. You my friend are stingy." That was a fat bird.

Separate topic: I purchased three pairs of cropped dress pants today. Teachers wear those. Tomorrow I will wear those. Two pairs from TJ Max for $12.00 each and the other from Banana Republic for not $12.00. Also, I opened a BR credit card because the guy at the register was adorable. I justified it with the perks of building credit, getting 10% off for 60 days, and the initial 15% off. He told me where to find apartments in Co Springs. He had dark, curly hair and blue eyes. I'm not sorry.

Who is James Irwin? ... NOT hard to say

Straight from the Student Handbook....
Who was James Irwin?

Apollo 15 astronaut, James Irwin, was born March 17, 1930, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to a working class family. He was an ordinary man who accomplished extraordinary things through persistence. James Irwin overcame obstacles. He adjusted to several family relocations throughout childhood from Pennsylvania to Florida to Oregon to Utah. He barely received a commission into Annapolis, sneaking in by a fraction of a grade point. Yet he hated the Navy, hated ships, and hated the idea of sitting on a ship for a long period of time. At graduation he was commissioned into the newly established United States Air Force. He didn’t like to fly in the beginning. He almost left flight training. In fact, it wasn’t until his first solo that he discovered his love for flight. While a flight instructor, his student once crashed their plane resulting in two compound leg fractures, a broken jaw, and temporary memory loss for Jim. He not only survived, but also overcame these health impairments to become a test fighter pilot. 



Although initially passed over for service with the space program, his persistence led to successful graduation from Space School and acceptance into the Astronaut Corps one month prior to the age cutoff.

In 1965, Jim, his wife Mary, and their four children, Joy, Jill, Jimmy, and Jan moved from Edwards Air Force Base to the Air Defense Command in Colorado Springs. In March of 1973, little Joe would join the family via an orphanage in Saigon.



James Irwin was a famous explorer, not only of the surface of the Moon, but also of the surface of the Earth, as he assisted in the search for Noah’s Ark. James Irwin is a local and contemporary hero to hold before our student body as a role model. James Irwin emulates the character qualities that lead to success. 



He pursued excellence in academics, his profession, his family, and in his community service. Though he died in Glenwood Springs in August 1991, his wife, Mary, son Joe, an attorney, and his daughters Jill and Jan still reside in Colorado Springs. His daughter Joy lives in Florida and his son Jim lives in Houston, Texas. This biographical information, as well as, much more may be found in James Irwin’s autobiography, To Rule the Night, which is available in our school library.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

20 hours alone... AND the next five years with you

If I can't answer a friend's question (Adrienne...ahem) generally I'm going to pause and say..."It's hard to say..." However, I often ask myself questions to which I would expect the same response.
For example:
Can cows walk down stairs? Not a difficult question to find the answer to but who do you ask!?!
I don't know any cows and I can't imagine embarrassing one by asking such a personal question.
OR, When you die what do you get to look like in Heaven!?! I credit Kiki with this one. I have a feeling we don't get to ask this question but it's hard to say...

Whilst driving from the Great Lakes State to the land of the Rocky Mountains I had time to consider a few other pressing matters...

If I'm going to pay money to drive on a toll road which I can't exit without paying more money WHY don't I get a snack and a juice at the beginning? I mean I could be on an airplane. What are you offering that a plane is NOT? They give me food, drink, potty... It's hard to say...

If your beef cows graze on a field in Colorado do you then own the foothill that rests on your property? And if so, may I climb on it? It's hard to say...

If I drive from one end of the country to the other on I-80 do you belong to a club? What would I get and how does it arrive at my home? I would expect a sort of Publishers Clearing House kind of event BUT it's hard to say...

Basically there are a lot of questions out there. I'm about to become a teacher and I have a feeling students ask a few questions through out the course of a day...Questions to which I will be tempted to respond..."It's hard to say..." I don't think I get to do that (It's hard to say...). Hopefully I can bring a few interesting questions to my blog as well as share my adventures with family and friends. I can't wait!