Fears…
There
are a few things I’m afraid of in this world. Most are your standard phobias:
spiders, snakes, heights, the Devil, and whales. Oh what’s that? Whales aren’t
dangerous? That’s an irrational fear? I want to have a discussion about the
term “irrational fear” for a moment and then we can talk about whales.
(That was my best introductory paragraph in this entire
book. You can’t tell me you don’t know where this is going… not that you have
room to start complaining now. Unless of course you’re previewing this on your
Kindle in which case I would appreciate and support your purchasing of this
book and understand that you are spared these snarky comments to the
“reader”.)
Merriam
Webster’s Online Dictionary defines irrational:
not rational: as
a
(1):
not endowed with reason or understanding (2): lacking usual or
normal mental clarity or coherence
b: not governed by or according to
reason <irrational fears>
So irrational fears are those which are not “governed by reason”, or based in fact. They elicit irrational emotions or physical reactions which can seriously debilitate a person. I have friends who are so afraid of spiders they become immobilized and generally cry in the presence of one, big or small. These friends happened to share an apartment for a summer while interning with State Farm. As fate would have it, the apartment had a porch infested with spiders. The mere notion of opening the blinds to let sunlight in through the sliding glass doors was too much. I can’t say spiders bother me that much.
My
fear of spiders and snakes needs qualification. I have more of an issue with
“surprise” spiders and snakes. For example, the following doesn’t bother me:
“Ma’am, here is the reptile house at our zoo. There are man-eating snakes and
poisonous spiders on display. In fact, the big python in the corner is
responsible for the attack on Harry Potter’s cousin, Dudley and is suspected of
being the second cousin to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s snake, Nagini.” “Oh wow. Thanks
for the information, I can now react and feel accordingly in light of the
aforementioned.” The fact that they house the snakes, spiders and reptiles in a
secure, separate, and labeled facility suggests to me that others feel
similarly. If I know they’re there I can deal. In fact, the worst zoo in the
world would be the sort that takes you through the underwater penguin exhibit
and straight into the “creepy crawly” house. The only way THAT could be worse
would be to make the exit from that Hell an entrance into a seal and killer
whale combination habitat.
Have
you ever seen a video of killer whales teaching their babies to “play” with
their food? Of course when I say food I mean baby seals trapped on ice burgs. They just spent hours escaping seal clubbers on land and now they have to evade blood thirsty pirate whales on the open ocean. You go right on ahead and tell me that having a fear of whales is
irrational. The only bit that I will admit is in fact irrational is the reality
that I am afraid of them and I live in Colorado. There aren’t any oceans within
many much miles; I’m totally land locked. My counter argument is that I fear
for those who feel whales are generally safe. In support of my argument, I will
deal with a few species of whales.
Belugas: No fear there. Raffi was a
childhood hero and I trust him. Always I go to my eternal happy place that is
jammin’ to “Baby Beluga” at a Raffi concert as a kid. Hands in the air, eyes closed,
and singing:
Baby beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby beluga,
Is the water warm? Is your mama home,
With you so happy?
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where you dive and splash all day,
Waves roll in and the waves roll out.
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, oh, baby beluga,
Sing your little song, sing for all your friends.
We like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed.
Curled up snug in your waterbed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out.
Good night, little whale, good night.
Baby beluga, oh, baby beluga,
With tomorrow's sun, another day's begun.
You'll soon be waking.
Baby beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free. Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
May I add that they won’t ever write
songs like that about “surprise” spiders? I may because the following has been
written about such:
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
She was frightened as in the
adjective afraid. To my knowledge there’s a universal understanding that
unannounced spiders have this effect on people. That’s why we teach it to our
children.
(Separate argument from whales but
if you wanted to read a book logically and intelligently written why didn’t you
pick up something by C.S. Lewis or J.K. Rowling? Do you have any idea the
thought that went into the worlds those two created? It dizzies my mind to
contemplate their genius.)
... It plans to move on to Killer Whales and Blue whales.
