What was I doing?...

Oh yeah. Writing a blog for my friends and family... and my adoring fans who after only a few brief posts have fallen in love with my whit and humor. For the latter, stay tuned for the book.
But seriously, I'm writing a book. I've already written a children's book but that has to be published after the previously mentioned book so parents will already be like, "Dang. She is so funny and crazy! I want my kid to be like her. I'll buy them this book about a dinosaur and squirrel so they can learn to be funny, too."
That's good looking out parents.

Speaking of parenting... is that what I was doing? It's hard to say... my sister just had a baby and it has once again confirmed in my mind that I am closer to understanding how lightening can turn sand into glass than being comfortable with the idea of having a child.

Let me lay this out for you. It's evening, the baby is asleep and my sister and I are reading in bed. Yes, reading in bed. Yes, my sister. Someday I plan to replay this whole thing but with my own baby and a smokin' hot husband, but it wasn't my kid so no rush on that.
Naturally, I fall asleep and when next I enter consciousness there is a whimpering mammal in the crib across the room. Little machine gun pellets of sobbing emitting from a shallow cave. Small cogs turn in my heart and brain at which time I leap out of bed to assist the child. She's like four months old so shushing and saying, "It's okay. It's okay." are really only working to calm me down because her whole body is saying, "Food idiot. FOOD!" and she doesn't speak English yet. That was round one with the baby and it ended rather happily when my sister arrived with a bottle and nurturing tendencies.

Round two brought out my true colors.
*Crying*... *CRYING*... "I'm going to get a bottle will you get up with her?"
PILLOW ON TOP OF MY HEAD and roll over. Maternal instincts malfunction.

My sister, however, is a professional lover of her own child which is perhaps (so I've been told) how that whole thing tends to shake out anyway. I can hope. My future children can hope.