"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."- James 4:6
Contrary to popular belief, it's not easy being a Christian. God does not love us more; prayer is not a direct line to "Gods'I'Am" from which we receive everything for which we ask. It may even be that we suffer to learn to rely more on Him. I would argue we suffer to become personable, humble, maybe even believable.You WILL without question encounter Christians who chastise and judge in His name. There are those who slash with the sword which was never ours to wield. To them I would like to say, I used to be one of you.
This verse from James chapter four, "Submit yourselves to God" makes me curious. It quotes Proverbs 3:34 which says, "He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble." 1 Peter 5:5, "Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'" This bit of Peter speaks directly to church leaders and has roots in the memory of Jesus washing feet in the Gospel of John.
My understanding of James is less that God will favor the humble over the proud (although it is often stated that this is the case), rather God will place obstacles in the way of the proud until they are humbled. That's where the grace comes in. Life gets a great deal easier when we stop operating under the notion that perfection is the inevitable conclusion of "true" faith. Good luck with becoming Jesus Christ. True faith must be more like accepting short comings not only in ourselves but others and LOVING until it hurts. Forgiving until 7 times 70 is long in the past. For the longest time I was up on a high horse, sure of my righteousness, and about as judgmental as the day is long. Certainly, since that time, I have undergone my "great humbling". As Christians we should expect this humbling, wait for it, pray for it, pray in it, pray about it, and learn from it.
Romans 5:3-5
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
I give to you the words of James himself with regards to hypocrisy and the need for grace not only from the Lord but one another as well.
James 4:11-12
"Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgement on it. There is only one Law-giver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you - who are you to judge your neighbor?"
All of this is to say, I struggle with understanding a balance between giving grace and being tolerant to the point of permissive. We are told to "speak the truth in love", "hate the sin, love the sinner". Where do we draw the line? When is harshness a necessity? What distinguishes between judgment and throwing manners aside because in the end, this is a soul we're talking about!?
I offer this as a personal testimony, an insight, and a question. Thank you, friends.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
I'm embarrassed by me, too...
We're going to play a game of "Copy and Paste". My students play it all the time. You take a small bit of some one's conversation and remove it from its context. According to rounds played in my class I should have been fired a LONG time ago.
Here we go: "Just use a condom. Put it on the end and it looks just like a worm. It works every time."
I overheard this in the parking lot after a basketball game this week. Being a teacher and noticing two students I decided to do a little parenting. "Let's remember we are still at James Irwin, a school of character. Please try to have appropriate conversations... Good night! Love, Miss B." Effective, yes? I didn't feel the need to have an after school special with them; I put in my two cents and hopped in the car. Imagine someone from the other school leaving the game hearing that conversation? In an attempt to maintain the integrity of our student body I spoke up. Now imagine that is wasn't in fact a student talking about this rather a parent... Yep.
Upon backing out of the parking lot the two "Parent of the Year" nominees charged my car and proceeded to assault me. Please look to a dictionary for the appropriate definition of assault. Business Law I taught me that it actually has nothing to do with physical violence rather the threat of violence. So by strict definition, I was assaulted. It was kind of a drive by assault. Not so much in the sense that I was in an actual car, however. What I mean is that it happened really quickly. If you know me well at all you know that in general I speak in "sass" almost exclusively except for when it would actually facilitate winning abusive arguments. I tend to tune out. It feels more like an our of body experience than anything else. I imagine it's like talking to a cardboard cut out of me.
"Um, actually you only heard the end of our conversation. We were talking about fly fishing! (Right.) Condoms look like worms on the end of the line and they attract fish! (Naturally.)"
"Well sir you have to understand that the conversation didn't seem..."
"You only heard the END!"
"Sure, but as a teacher I felt it was important..."
"You're a teacher! How embarrassing! I'm embarrassed you work here! (I'm embarrassed for your kid right now.) You don't just shout across parking lots! You pull them aside! I'm embarrassed by you!" *Puts aggressively gesturing hands in the window rather close to my face*
Which would actually cross the line into battery but she kept them mostly to herself.
END ASSAULT
I later found out that this mother has shown up to school drunk on multiple occasions. Obviously I'm the embarrassing one.
Kids deserve a better class of parents. Teachers deserve better employers. Yes, employers. Do you not realize that I show up to work everyday for little pay and spend real quality time with your child. I actually work FOR you... not even for you. I work IN SPITE of you. You're welcome.
Here we go: "Just use a condom. Put it on the end and it looks just like a worm. It works every time."
I overheard this in the parking lot after a basketball game this week. Being a teacher and noticing two students I decided to do a little parenting. "Let's remember we are still at James Irwin, a school of character. Please try to have appropriate conversations... Good night! Love, Miss B." Effective, yes? I didn't feel the need to have an after school special with them; I put in my two cents and hopped in the car. Imagine someone from the other school leaving the game hearing that conversation? In an attempt to maintain the integrity of our student body I spoke up. Now imagine that is wasn't in fact a student talking about this rather a parent... Yep.
Upon backing out of the parking lot the two "Parent of the Year" nominees charged my car and proceeded to assault me. Please look to a dictionary for the appropriate definition of assault. Business Law I taught me that it actually has nothing to do with physical violence rather the threat of violence. So by strict definition, I was assaulted. It was kind of a drive by assault. Not so much in the sense that I was in an actual car, however. What I mean is that it happened really quickly. If you know me well at all you know that in general I speak in "sass" almost exclusively except for when it would actually facilitate winning abusive arguments. I tend to tune out. It feels more like an our of body experience than anything else. I imagine it's like talking to a cardboard cut out of me.
"Um, actually you only heard the end of our conversation. We were talking about fly fishing! (Right.) Condoms look like worms on the end of the line and they attract fish! (Naturally.)"
"Well sir you have to understand that the conversation didn't seem..."
"You only heard the END!"
"Sure, but as a teacher I felt it was important..."
"You're a teacher! How embarrassing! I'm embarrassed you work here! (I'm embarrassed for your kid right now.) You don't just shout across parking lots! You pull them aside! I'm embarrassed by you!" *Puts aggressively gesturing hands in the window rather close to my face*
Which would actually cross the line into battery but she kept them mostly to herself.
END ASSAULT
I later found out that this mother has shown up to school drunk on multiple occasions. Obviously I'm the embarrassing one.
Kids deserve a better class of parents. Teachers deserve better employers. Yes, employers. Do you not realize that I show up to work everyday for little pay and spend real quality time with your child. I actually work FOR you... not even for you. I work IN SPITE of you. You're welcome.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
A bit part of your life... I mean mine...
Here is a SHORT bit of my book...
not rational: as
So irrational fears are those which are not “governed by reason”, or based in fact. They elicit irrational emotions or physical reactions which can seriously debilitate a person. I have friends who are so afraid of spiders they become immobilized and generally cry in the presence of one, big or small. These friends happened to share an apartment for a summer while interning with State Farm. As fate would have it, the apartment had a porch infested with spiders. The mere notion of opening the blinds to let sunlight in through the sliding glass doors was too much. I can’t say spiders bother me that much.
Baby beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby beluga,
Is the water warm? Is your mama home,
With you so happy?
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where you dive and splash all day,
Waves roll in and the waves roll out.
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, oh, baby beluga,
Sing your little song, sing for all your friends.
We like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed.
Curled up snug in your waterbed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out.
Good night, little whale, good night.
Baby beluga, oh, baby beluga,
With tomorrow's sun, another day's begun.
You'll soon be waking.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
Fears…
There
are a few things I’m afraid of in this world. Most are your standard phobias:
spiders, snakes, heights, the Devil, and whales. Oh what’s that? Whales aren’t
dangerous? That’s an irrational fear? I want to have a discussion about the
term “irrational fear” for a moment and then we can talk about whales.
(That was my best introductory paragraph in this entire
book. You can’t tell me you don’t know where this is going… not that you have
room to start complaining now. Unless of course you’re previewing this on your
Kindle in which case I would appreciate and support your purchasing of this
book and understand that you are spared these snarky comments to the
“reader”.)
Merriam
Webster’s Online Dictionary defines irrational:
not rational: as
a
(1):
not endowed with reason or understanding (2): lacking usual or
normal mental clarity or coherence
b: not governed by or according to
reason <irrational fears>
So irrational fears are those which are not “governed by reason”, or based in fact. They elicit irrational emotions or physical reactions which can seriously debilitate a person. I have friends who are so afraid of spiders they become immobilized and generally cry in the presence of one, big or small. These friends happened to share an apartment for a summer while interning with State Farm. As fate would have it, the apartment had a porch infested with spiders. The mere notion of opening the blinds to let sunlight in through the sliding glass doors was too much. I can’t say spiders bother me that much.
My
fear of spiders and snakes needs qualification. I have more of an issue with
“surprise” spiders and snakes. For example, the following doesn’t bother me:
“Ma’am, here is the reptile house at our zoo. There are man-eating snakes and
poisonous spiders on display. In fact, the big python in the corner is
responsible for the attack on Harry Potter’s cousin, Dudley and is suspected of
being the second cousin to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s snake, Nagini.” “Oh wow. Thanks
for the information, I can now react and feel accordingly in light of the
aforementioned.” The fact that they house the snakes, spiders and reptiles in a
secure, separate, and labeled facility suggests to me that others feel
similarly. If I know they’re there I can deal. In fact, the worst zoo in the
world would be the sort that takes you through the underwater penguin exhibit
and straight into the “creepy crawly” house. The only way THAT could be worse
would be to make the exit from that Hell an entrance into a seal and killer
whale combination habitat.
Have
you ever seen a video of killer whales teaching their babies to “play” with
their food? Of course when I say food I mean baby seals trapped on ice burgs. They just spent hours escaping seal clubbers on land and now they have to evade blood thirsty pirate whales on the open ocean. You go right on ahead and tell me that having a fear of whales is
irrational. The only bit that I will admit is in fact irrational is the reality
that I am afraid of them and I live in Colorado. There aren’t any oceans within
many much miles; I’m totally land locked. My counter argument is that I fear
for those who feel whales are generally safe. In support of my argument, I will
deal with a few species of whales.
Belugas: No fear there. Raffi was a
childhood hero and I trust him. Always I go to my eternal happy place that is
jammin’ to “Baby Beluga” at a Raffi concert as a kid. Hands in the air, eyes closed,
and singing:
Baby beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby beluga,
Is the water warm? Is your mama home,
With you so happy?
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where you dive and splash all day,
Waves roll in and the waves roll out.
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, oh, baby beluga,
Sing your little song, sing for all your friends.
We like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed.
Curled up snug in your waterbed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out.
Good night, little whale, good night.
Baby beluga, oh, baby beluga,
With tomorrow's sun, another day's begun.
You'll soon be waking.
Baby beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free. Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
May I add that they won’t ever write
songs like that about “surprise” spiders? I may because the following has been
written about such:
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
She was frightened as in the
adjective afraid. To my knowledge there’s a universal understanding that
unannounced spiders have this effect on people. That’s why we teach it to our
children.
(Separate argument from whales but
if you wanted to read a book logically and intelligently written why didn’t you
pick up something by C.S. Lewis or J.K. Rowling? Do you have any idea the
thought that went into the worlds those two created? It dizzies my mind to
contemplate their genius.)
... It plans to move on to Killer Whales and Blue whales.
Monday, January 7, 2013
A Halloween post I MEANT to slip in just before Thanksgiving...
BUT JUST FOUND SAVED AS A DRAFT!! A MERE DRAFT...
This Halloween I dressed as a Cowboy (not a cowgirl, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to be a Sheriff because women hadn't conquored the west yet, or men, or the kitchen, or something.)
I dressed up to trick-or-treat with a group of high school students. The student council organized trick-or-treating for canned goods to donate to the local homeless shelter. We had tons of fun and did a really great thing for the community. Great idea children :)
My evening consisted of ringing doorbells and carting around tuna cans with the following characters: a Mexican (reminiscent of Kara and Nat's costumes for Halloween 2009), Red Riding Hood, a doctor, a rabbit, two police officers (complete with walkie-talkies and police lingo), a plumber, a nerd, a crayon, a whoopee cushion, and a hot dog wearing sequined pants. Post the publicly encouraged begging I stood in line with eight high school students at two different Chipotle's for $2 burritios. It was disappointing to fnd out that you don't actually have to show up in costume to get the discount.
Seeing all of the people who did show up in costume made me really greatful to have friends and teach kids that understand that "More is more" and you can't really say you've dressed in costume if your Halloween costume is little more than underwear. Granted, we have a dress code at school so they wouldn't have been allowed to participate unless properly dressed. That being said the girls were highly offened by many of the costumes and the boys were not even slightly ammused.
Note the following personal costume choices in the last five years:
2007: Ninja Turtles w/Kelsey, Sarah, and Circe
2008: The Three Bears w/Adrienne and Sarah
2009: Sigfreid, Roy (Amanda and Casey), and their white bengal tiger (me)
2010: Mario Kart w/Chelsea, Catherine, Jasmine, and Circe
2011: "The bandit who broke into my car 2 weeks ago" (That was the first time.)
It was more fun to be creative with my friends for 2 days before Halloween, than to wear the outfits anyway. I feel that should be the point. Buying your costume is lame.
This Halloween I dressed as a Cowboy (not a cowgirl, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to be a Sheriff because women hadn't conquored the west yet, or men, or the kitchen, or something.)
I dressed up to trick-or-treat with a group of high school students. The student council organized trick-or-treating for canned goods to donate to the local homeless shelter. We had tons of fun and did a really great thing for the community. Great idea children :)
My evening consisted of ringing doorbells and carting around tuna cans with the following characters: a Mexican (reminiscent of Kara and Nat's costumes for Halloween 2009), Red Riding Hood, a doctor, a rabbit, two police officers (complete with walkie-talkies and police lingo), a plumber, a nerd, a crayon, a whoopee cushion, and a hot dog wearing sequined pants. Post the publicly encouraged begging I stood in line with eight high school students at two different Chipotle's for $2 burritios. It was disappointing to fnd out that you don't actually have to show up in costume to get the discount.
Seeing all of the people who did show up in costume made me really greatful to have friends and teach kids that understand that "More is more" and you can't really say you've dressed in costume if your Halloween costume is little more than underwear. Granted, we have a dress code at school so they wouldn't have been allowed to participate unless properly dressed. That being said the girls were highly offened by many of the costumes and the boys were not even slightly ammused.
Note the following personal costume choices in the last five years:
2007: Ninja Turtles w/Kelsey, Sarah, and Circe
2008: The Three Bears w/Adrienne and Sarah
2009: Sigfreid, Roy (Amanda and Casey), and their white bengal tiger (me)
2010: Mario Kart w/Chelsea, Catherine, Jasmine, and Circe
2011: "The bandit who broke into my car 2 weeks ago" (That was the first time.)
It was more fun to be creative with my friends for 2 days before Halloween, than to wear the outfits anyway. I feel that should be the point. Buying your costume is lame.
What was I doing?...
Oh yeah. Writing a blog for my friends and family... and my adoring fans who after only a few brief posts have fallen in love with my whit and humor. For the latter, stay tuned for the book.
But seriously, I'm writing a book. I've already written a children's book but that has to be published after the previously mentioned book so parents will already be like, "Dang. She is so funny and crazy! I want my kid to be like her. I'll buy them this book about a dinosaur and squirrel so they can learn to be funny, too."
That's good looking out parents.
Speaking of parenting... is that what I was doing? It's hard to say... my sister just had a baby and it has once again confirmed in my mind that I am closer to understanding how lightening can turn sand into glass than being comfortable with the idea of having a child.
Let me lay this out for you. It's evening, the baby is asleep and my sister and I are reading in bed. Yes, reading in bed. Yes, my sister. Someday I plan to replay this whole thing but with my own baby and a smokin' hot husband, but it wasn't my kid so no rush on that.
Naturally, I fall asleep and when next I enter consciousness there is a whimpering mammal in the crib across the room. Little machine gun pellets of sobbing emitting from a shallow cave. Small cogs turn in my heart and brain at which time I leap out of bed to assist the child. She's like four months old so shushing and saying, "It's okay. It's okay." are really only working to calm me down because her whole body is saying, "Food idiot. FOOD!" and she doesn't speak English yet. That was round one with the baby and it ended rather happily when my sister arrived with a bottle and nurturing tendencies.
Round two brought out my true colors.
*Crying*... *CRYING*... "I'm going to get a bottle will you get up with her?"
PILLOW ON TOP OF MY HEAD and roll over. Maternal instincts malfunction.
My sister, however, is a professional lover of her own child which is perhaps (so I've been told) how that whole thing tends to shake out anyway. I can hope. My future children can hope.
But seriously, I'm writing a book. I've already written a children's book but that has to be published after the previously mentioned book so parents will already be like, "Dang. She is so funny and crazy! I want my kid to be like her. I'll buy them this book about a dinosaur and squirrel so they can learn to be funny, too."
That's good looking out parents.
Speaking of parenting... is that what I was doing? It's hard to say... my sister just had a baby and it has once again confirmed in my mind that I am closer to understanding how lightening can turn sand into glass than being comfortable with the idea of having a child.
Let me lay this out for you. It's evening, the baby is asleep and my sister and I are reading in bed. Yes, reading in bed. Yes, my sister. Someday I plan to replay this whole thing but with my own baby and a smokin' hot husband, but it wasn't my kid so no rush on that.
Naturally, I fall asleep and when next I enter consciousness there is a whimpering mammal in the crib across the room. Little machine gun pellets of sobbing emitting from a shallow cave. Small cogs turn in my heart and brain at which time I leap out of bed to assist the child. She's like four months old so shushing and saying, "It's okay. It's okay." are really only working to calm me down because her whole body is saying, "Food idiot. FOOD!" and she doesn't speak English yet. That was round one with the baby and it ended rather happily when my sister arrived with a bottle and nurturing tendencies.
Round two brought out my true colors.
*Crying*... *CRYING*... "I'm going to get a bottle will you get up with her?"
PILLOW ON TOP OF MY HEAD and roll over. Maternal instincts malfunction.
My sister, however, is a professional lover of her own child which is perhaps (so I've been told) how that whole thing tends to shake out anyway. I can hope. My future children can hope.
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